An intro to Fertility: For the twenty-somethings
Ladies, lets talk about something real quick… Lets talk about your fertility. I know, you don’t care right now, you are 25 and fancy free without a care in the world, except maybe how you are going to launch your career. YOU are a go getter. YOU are passionate. YOU are excited about your future. In fact, I’m sure the furthest thing from your mind is your fertility. You are not asking yourself if you can get pregnant. You are planning the date and time you will get pregnant.
“When I’m 32, I’ll be in the career that I love with the man that I love and children are more than welcome to enter my world then. In that moment I will be ready to be a mother.”
You probably have friends that got pregnant early on in their lives and weren’t able to focus on their career and you think, “those poor women, their lives have stopped for kids.” You never think or hope that you will beg for your life to stop for kids.
You think you have control of your future. We are taught we have control of so many aspects of our lives.
What twenty something even considers fertility outside of their daily birth control regimine? Over the years you may contemplate having children, but the thought of infertility rarely crosses your mind. You go to your annual checkup which tells you that you are healthy yet again. These checkups have nothing to do with fertility. If they did, you’d be getting not only “a little pinch” but you’d also be getting your falopian tubes filled with some weird die to make sure they are open. You’d be getting an internal ultrasound every other month. Don’t know what that is? Think of a vibrater with no vibrations… What’s the point??? I mean, if you are going down there, give me something to look forward too.
You will get to know your ob/gyn real good. In fact, she might get to know your shaving patterns pretty well.
Did you know that each year your fertility could change? So all those fertility tests you got done last year have to be redone? Sometimes every 6 months if your lucky. “Just take a extra strength tylenol, it won’t hurt too bad” Ladies, a vanerial disease would hurt less.
“I’m just going to fill your uterus with water and take a look around.”
“I’ll need you to have your bladder full before we can continue with this procedure”
… which involves my nurse pressing down on your bladder while I ever so gently place a long pointy straw into your uterus. Please don’t pee on your doctor.
You see, the scientific reason we are women is so we can pro-create. We bring life into the world. When your scientific reason for living is no longer, you feel like a dud. You feel like natural selection has placed a mark on you. This human cannot pro-create because she is not the ideal specimin.
Science has failed you. What about God? Now you question every spiritual aspect of your life. No matter your religion, your purpose is to create more humans. So what if you physically can’t. Does that mean God is mad at you? Does that mean God hates you?
Infertility isn’t just about having children. Infertility is about losing every part of your dignity from your insides being poked and proded in every form possible to your womanhood being taken away. Infertility is about you personally in every aspect. How will you overcome infertility? With Anger? With deep depression? Maybe it won’t bother you because just maybe you never wanted children anyway. You have official lost control of your future.
This story is about how I went from oblivious to anger to acceptance. Sorry, I just gave away the ending. The truth of the matter is, infertility is a lifelong journey of every emotion. Acceptance comes and goes. Regardless, here is my story.
